...

Fuck it.

I broke down and dove in.

I never really fancied myself much of a tabletop gamer (and admittedly, to this day, I've still only played a couple of games). Never been one for board games, even as a kid (except for when I visited friends whose parents limited their video game time). But I have always been interested in the miniatures, particularly Warhammer 40,000.

If you've read my previous entries, you'd know that I've been a big 40k fan since high-school when I got Dawn of War for my birthday. However, the video games are very different from the tabletop, and they are far cheaper in comparison. You could get the latest remaster of Dawn of War with all of its expansions for about $30 full price. You know how much it cost me to buy this one box of plastic space dwarves? Nearly as much.

I don't know what it was to lead me down this dark path of miniature plastic, but it has gripped my attention for the past month or so.

Maybe it was the release of the Dawn of War remaster that rekindled my interest. Maybe it's my general feeling of hopelessness in the modern world that led me to seek shelter in an even more hopeless fantasy world. Maybe it was just good old-fashioned subconscious marketing worming its way into the recesses of my brain. Regardless, I bit the bullet and paid my chunk of change for this box.

This box isn't even Warhammer 40k. It's a different thing made by a company called Wargames Atlantic, and I first read about them while looking for 40k figure alternatives. I had walked into my local Warhammer store and looked around at the prices. Recently, Games Workshop (the people behind that plastic crack addiction) have been selling these large "Combat Patrol" box sets that are meant to act as introductory kits for new players. They'll have a couple dozen figures inside, which, while not usually enough to field a full army, is enough to play a few small-scale matches to get the handle of the rules and general play.

However, do you know how much these boxes cost? This box set of 19 unassembled and unpainted plastic soldiers cost a whopping $170 pre-taxes. Now, I don't know about you, but that is quite a bit of a larger pill to swallow, especially if you're not really sure if you'd even be into the whole assembly and painting aspect of the game. So I decided to look around and see if there were 3rd-party vendors who sold, ya know, cheaper alternatives. Honestly, I wasn't even too chuffed about the quality if these alternative minis were decently priced. That was when I read someone recommending some Wargames Atlantic minis.

I began looking on their website and saw that these box sets of 24-30 figures were going for about $35 (this was before recent tarriffs came into effect, which would later end up adding an additional $5 or so to the price...thanks...). I figured I could at least absorb that price, so I ordered a pack of these space dwarves and (I would later learn) space nazis. However, I initially got cold feet after receiving the boxes. I mean that was about $60 for these plastic toys, a price I seldom even paid for new game releases. Did I make a mistake?

When the first box of dwarves was opened, the thing that shocked me the most was just how small they were. I mean, I get that they're dwarves, but I guess in my mind, I had expected the minis to be a bit less mini. These were apparently called 28mm scale figures, and since each soldier came as separate parts, that broke down the scale even further.

I did end up returning the other box (called the Reumjagers) after I assembled the dwarves.

I got them all glued together and put on their little plastic bases and I sat back and thought, Okay, that's me dipping my toes in the water. I don't think I'll be continuing this any further.

Flash forward to today.

I am now the owner of a 3D printer.

I look around and wonder, How the the hell did I get here?

After I began painting the dwarves, I came to a realization. Sure it was a slow and painstaking process, but there was a relaxing aspect to it. I could paint late at night, listening to an audiobook, and it reminded me of that joy that I used to feel in painting.

There was a troubling part of my life that led me to abandon watercolor painting (and painting in general). It became too much of a reminder of someone. And so for a while, I didn't dare pick up a brush. But this...this was something else entirely. Something that was mine. Something that was untethered to the memories.

And it brought me a semblance of joy.

It's cope.

I'm fully aware that this is essentially a coping mechanism. A way for me to hide from the troubles of the real world and to hide from my painful memories and ever-increasing social isolation. But for the time being, this causes me little pain.

However, it is still a rather expensive hobby, and I didn't see myself able to just keep buying minis, especially some of these incredible sculpts that online creators have made. So again, I bit the bullet and made the hefty purchase of a Bambulab A1 Mini 3D printer.

I have done nothing but print plastic for 3 days.

This thing is just so cool. Yes, a resin printer offers faster print times for bulk minis, and at an even greater level of detail, but my current living space doesn't really allow for working with toxic fumes and chemicals. Not to mention, it is definitely a bit more involved of a process. Maybe someday in the future. I suppose I'll keep you updated.

Why am I telling you this? Because I'm sitting here with my new coping mechanism and you're the only one around to listen. So I suppose thank you for stopping by.