...

Hey, it's me again. Listen, we need to talk.

I feel like sometimes, I'm the only adult around the house. My parents are aging, but sometimes they act like kids. Some spats. Some bickering. The usual drama.

Both of my parents are ill. My dad's body is failing him after years of misuse. His shoulders and back are in constant pain. My mother has leukemia and now carpal tunnel along her right arm (although I suspect something different due to its pervasiveness across the entirety of her arm and back).

I feel powerless to do anything about it. It's not like I can just snap my fingers and make their pain go away. And with medical bills rising, I'll need to really buckle down when it comes to my finances. I've got to be able to take care of them and my siblings. I'll need to be able to help them get through college. I'll need to be able to see that my parents can retire.

There's just so much weighing on me. So much pulling at me from all directions. Do you sometimes feel this way?

I work a full time job, and come this Fall, I'll be going back to school nearly full time as well. Not to mention I have my own projects that I need to finish on the side. So much to do, so little time and energy to do so. It all feels kinda fucked.

Every night, I feel so tired. So tired mentally. Emotionally. You know, I used to be much more optimistic. So much more upbeat and joyful. That was probably over 10 years ago now. Now I'm just stuck in a perpetual spinning wheel of death, hoping to just be able to make it through each day.